booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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