Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
