a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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