I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
