They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
