it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
