I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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