somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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