God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
