Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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