Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
