I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
