How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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