My nipple is on Facebook.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
