just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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