talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
