your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
