I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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