if only i could text you this smell
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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