I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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