if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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