I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
