It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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