I wanna passion pit in your ass
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you never un-have a 4some
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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