so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
