with your own penis?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize