you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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