i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
