New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
