I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
