I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
