The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
