Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize