but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
