We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
