After last night, I could never be a politician.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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