Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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