my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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