This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
