Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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