Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
