my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
