I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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