Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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