is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
