I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
