oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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