i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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