Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
