i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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