Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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