If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
