hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
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bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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