I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize