You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
